


What's In A Name?

by avariciousChaos



Series: My Self-Indulgence [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Aka I hurt Kevin a lot in this, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Domestic Violence, Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22109779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avariciousChaos/pseuds/avariciousChaos
Summary: Kevin has been through a lot since the takedown of Strexcorp. But it's what he deserves. Right? Apparently some people don't agree with that.In other words, this was incredibly self-indulgent.
Relationships: Carlos & Cecil Palmer & Kevin, Carlos & Kevin (Welcome to Night Vale), Carlos/Cecil Palmer, Kevin & Cecil Palmer
Series: My Self-Indulgence [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723714
Comments: 26
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Slight Warning: I keep the description of re-education very vague but it is heavily implied to be very similar to torture. Please be advised about that. There are also vague references to abusive past relationships.

There were a lot of things that Kevin stayed away from. Structured religion for one thing. Large corporations. Mirrors. Things that are usually understandable, he’s been recovering but they still bring up a lot of bad memories. But the one thing, or person he supposes, he shies away from is his double, Cecil Palmer. And really the reasons are simple (to Kevin at least) because Cecil is good, the better double if you would. He has everything Kevin has ever wanted. A stable job, a loving boyfriend, friends. Cecil is the unbroken Kevin. And as much as Kevin hates himself, he loves Cecil. Loves Cecil like he loves the sun. Loves Cecil like Cecil loves Carlos. It helps (hurts) that Cecil doesn’t want anything to do with him. The disgusted and furious looks he gets as he walks around both Nightvale and Desert Bluffs helps immensely in reminding him that he doesn’t belong. That he doesn’t get good things. That he should have stayed in exile in the Other desert world. Because he wasn’t rescued, was he? Carlos was rescued, he was just…a byproduct, collateral. Brought along for the ride. But he can’t go back. Even if he wants to desperately just to get away. So he stays and endures the stares, the whispers, the hate. 

On this particular day, Kevin is enduring in Mission Grove Park. He’s sitting and basking in the sun and ignoring the looks. Everything is fine. He hears someone walk towards his bench from behind him. 

“Kevin of Desert Bluffs.” The voice was unfamiliar (more familiar if he thinks very hard) and Kevin tensed. He sighed, and that seemed to be enough of an answer as a black hood was put over his head and he was dragged off. 

When he came to next, he was strapped to a chair in a dimly lit room. He could immediately see a door and that put him on edge. He could quite tell if this was an interrogation or re-education (he couldn’t tell which was worse). Either way, they were making him wait. He counted a whole twenty minutes before he heard a door  _ behind _ him open. He is so alert he can feel two people entering and moving around. One of them stays near the door (no doubt to keep him on edge) and the other moves in front of him. Kevin almost thinks this is an interrogation until he takes in the outfit of the person in front of him. Clinical but relaxed, the way someone dresses when they’re trying to be professional but know they won't be doing any of the dirty work. He knows they’re expecting him to speak first, so that’s exactly what he doesn’t do. He gets as comfortable as he can while strapped to a chair, and he  _ smiles _ (its the kind of smile that unsettles most Nightvaleans, the one Cecil says isn’t really a smile). It doesn't take long before Kevin is awarded for his patience. The man in front of him cleans his throat.

“Kevin of Deserts Bluffs?” 

“That’s most certainly my name,” Kevin says smoothly as he tilts his head. He knows how to play this game. He’s been on the other side enough times to know how to manage (because of Strex because of Him). 

The man before him frowns. “Do you know why you’re here today?” He picks up a clipboard from the table.

“ I can only assume that this is a re-education?”

“Correct. I’m sure you’re familiar with his process,” HE pauses as if actually looking for Kevin’s input ( Kevin doesn’t move doesn’t stop smiling), “Do you have anyone that you would like for us to contact after this process is over?” and oh how that hurts. Once upon a time, there was someone he would call (someone he doesn’t want to think about) and now there’s no one. Well, he could always- no Cecil doesn’t deserve to deal with him. Kevin doesn’t open his mouth just shakes his head and as he does he feels a needle slid into his neck. He hisses and can already feel the world going black at the edges the last thing he hears is the man saying: “Alright Kevin, let’s get sta-”. After that all Kevin can remember is pain, pain so deep he can feel it in his very soul. And then, a whole lot of nothing. 

True unconsiousness cradled him after a while, then swiftly turned sour. He had started to dream and it was lovely, it had been similar to a memory. He and Deigo during one of the times their Company Sponsored Free Time lined up. They were laying close Deigo stroking his hair in the best way, and then it shifted, to Before. When the two of them were decidedly not romantic. Kevin kneeling on the floor blood dripping from his lip and several other places.

“Quite the rebel aren’t we Kevin,” dream-Deigo said pulling Kevin’s hair to make their eyes met. “You’ve been quite the annoyance to us, Kevin. But Strexcorp is still willing to work with you. You have potential. You’d be a wonderful asset.”All real words, Kevin remembers now he had been given the same speech over and over, had given the same speech himself. He hates. And then a change.

“If only you weren’t a traitor.” The words from dream-Deigo cut deeper than expected and Kevin gasps like he’d been hit. And then there’s only pain and everything goes black.

The next thing Kevin can actually remember is hands, hands on his face, in his hair and it feels lovely. He sighs and melts into the feeling. 

“Oh, thank Einstein. Kevin can you hear me?” a voice says from above him. He hums leaning into the hand resting on his cheek. “Okay that’s good, can you open your eyes for me?” 

Kevin frowns at that, it’s a reasonable request so he tries and gets one eye cracked open and the hisses and squeezes them both shut at the brightness of the room. 

“Shit sorry!” the hand leaves but quickly comes back. “Alright let’s try that again hm?” Kevin nods and opens his eyes slowly letting then adjust to the lights in the room. He blinks and studies the area directly over him. And he finally gets a look at the speaker. Surprisingly (only to Kevin) it’s Carlos. And he smiles, a real one, a warm one, all directed at Kevin. 

“Good, awesome. How do you feel?”

“Like I just went through re-education,” Kevin rasps, and gods he sounds like it too. He struggles into a sitting position. “How did I get here?”

“Here drink some water first,” Carlos hands him an opened bottle of water, “they dropped you at the front door, Cecil insisted we bring you inside. All your emergency contacts were uh…,” Carlos’s face scrunched up, “Unavailable.” Kevin knows what he means by that, that with Strexcorp gone Kevin no longer has had anyone to rely on for some time now. So he only hums as he guzzles down the water. Carlos gives him a sad smile, opens his mouth to say something, then changes his mind. 

“Cecil should be home soon,” and he gets up, “Yell if you need something okay?” Kevin closes the water bottle and nods and Carlos leaves. 

And Kevin has only one thought. He needs to leave before Cecil gets back. Even if he was the one who brought Kevin inside, he was only doing it out of obligation, he doesn’t want Kevin here he doesn’t need Kevin here. Kevin wishes he could stay, but he pushes himself up on shaky legs and promptly falls back on the couch. It takes him thirty-eight minutes and several more tries to stand by himself and even longer to get to the front door and of course at that moment who but Cecil opens the door. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos has a lot to think about. Most of which he is unwilling to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with this one. Even if there was a months-long break in the middle of writing it.

Carlos wasn’t panicking, scientists don’t panic (unless something is on fire). But he was nervous, very nervous. From what he knew Kevin was fairly calm now and re-education is rough but it’s not Kevin he’s worried about. Cecil is still (understandably) hostile towards his double, even though Kevin had improved exponentially since the taking down of Strex. But after spending time with him in the desert otherworld, Carlos had started to warm up to Kevin. He was Cecil’s double after all and they definitely had their similarities besides their looks. But even beyond that, whenever they saw each other outside of Strexcorp, Kevin had been sweet, gentlemanly, and surprisingly sure of himself. Like he hadn’t had his entire life upended and everything he thought he knew about the world (and himself) completely destroyed. 

Having that image in his head had made it … difficult for Carlos to see Kevin laying motionless and bruised of their couch for five days straight. They were lucky that Carlos had the option to work from home. Carlos was honestly surprised that Cecil had brought Kevin inside at all. He had watched Cecil’s face when they came home to see Kevin crumpled on their front porch. Cecil seemed to have gone through quite a lot of emotions all at once before his face settled on neutral and he seemed to give up and brought his double inside. But Kevin is awake now (mostly) and Carlos needs to focus. But it’s so hard to do when Kevin looks small and fragile and tired.

He hadn’t gone far when he heard the door open, and that did nothing to help his nerves. Carlos doesn’t immediately hear anything being thrown nor does he hear any yelling so he takes it as a good sign and peeks around the corner to see them both staring each other down, not saying anything. He watches as Cecil deflates, all the tension leaving his body. He walks over to Kevin and  _ hugs him _ to the surprise of Carlos and apparently Kevin if the way he jolts is anything to go by. Even more surprising is the Kevin melts into and returns Cecil’s embrace, nodding along to whatever Cecil is whispering desperately into his ear. It almost feels like Carlos is intruding so he makes his way to the kitchen (which was where he was headed in the first place) and starts the coffee maker. He uses decaf because giving Cecil caffeine this late in the evening will only end in disaster for everyone involved. Carlos also starts getting out the various ingredients and pans to make a hearty chicken noodle soup. He’s still working on getting the onions and garlic sauteed when Cecil walks into the kitchen. Carlos didn’t have time to turn around before his husband was pressed against his back. It seemed like Cecil had decided to be taller than him at some point today and he rested his chin on Carlos’s head.

“Are you okay,” his husband asks.

“‘M good, Cec,” Carlos leans back on to Cecil as he stirs, “are you alright? Today sounded like a pretty wild day for the station.”

“I’m … fine.” Carlos doesn’t say anything, knowing Cecil will say more when he’s ready. Luckily he keeps his ingredients close to the stovetop so he doesn’t have to extract himself from Cecil’s hold to reach the chicken stock. “I’m just… worried I guess. And confused. I’m worried about Kevin. I wanted to make sure he’s okay and that’s what confused me. I hate- hated him, but now…”

“Now is different.” Carlos can feel him nod.

“Yes.” They’re silent for a moment as Carlos seasons the boneless chicken thighs and puts them in the pans to cook and brown. For a moment it feels like the only sound in the house is the sizzling of the pan. Cecil squeezes his middle and kisses his cheek and then Carlos is released as Cecil, presumedly, goes to change out of his work clothes. It doesn’t feel like a loss more like the conclusion of a sentence and it’s a feeling Carlos has only felt with Cecil (and one other person if he were to be completely honest with himself, but he is _ not _ being honest with himself so he is  _ not _ going to think about that). 

He finished the chicken and turned the heat up on the stock. He added spices and seasonings to the stock and vegetables and started to shred the chicken. Throwing that in and the noodles, he started cleaning the dishes he had used so far waiting for the stock to boil. The kitchen was starting to smell like home. It was good, comfortable,  _ domestic _ in a way that only comes with homecooked comfort foods like this. Carlos felt calmer than he had in a week, cooking like this always did make him calm. It’s almost like a headspace (he isn’t going to think about that too closely either). He had started to hum to himself, no song in particular, covering the pot of soup and lowering the heat when it was boiling. He had just put the last dish on the drying rack when a throat was cleared behind him. Carlos turned to see Kevin in the doorway looking like he had no clue what to do with all of himself. So Carlos just smiled. 

“Dinner’s not quite ready yet,” he said turning back to stir the pot quickly, “if you’re hungry though I can make you something quick and light?”

“N-no thank you. Can I sit,” he asked nodding to the kitchen table. Carlos nodded back and watched as Kevin settled into the chair. There was a look in Kevin’s eye but to Carlos’s mild frustration he couldn’t place it (when he got good enough to read the look in people’s eyes he couldn’t say). Carlos, unfortunately, didn’t have anymore cooking elements to do so he settled across the table from Kevin. Kevin’s face didn’t change but something shifted. He looked like he wanted to say something or maybe wanted to say anything. Like Cecil, he wanted so obviously wanted to fill the silence. It was the radio broadcaster in both of them the urge to find a microphone and narrate when they got nervous. Carlos was a patient man, had to be as a scientist, so he let Kevin work through his thoughts and let himself truly look at Kevin between moments of stirring. Kevin had obviously made it to the bathroom before coming to the kitchen, his face and hands washed, his hair looked like he used water to put it into some kind of order. It obviously made him feel more like himself. He looked handsome and Carlos couldn’t tell if was Kevin himself or the fact that he was his husband’s double.

It looked like Kevin had almost made up his mind when Cecil came into the kitchen. And then something entirely different happened on Kevin’s face something almost like surprise. And it hits Carlos that neither of them had seen the other in casual wear, which was almost funny to Carlos. Cecil and Kevin lock eyes. Not in a battle but more like a silent conversation. A conversation ends when Carlos goes back over to the stove to turn it off. He got a spoon out of the drawer and scoops some of the soup out of the pot and turned to Cecil.

“Cec, come taste this.” And he does, smiles, and grabs a bowl from the cabinet. And then Carlos gets an idea one he doesn’t think about before acting on it. He uses the same spoon and gets more soup and turns to Kevin. 

“Kevin come here,” he doesn’t mean for it to come out so demanding but he doesn’t try to think on that either because Kevin  _ does _ come over to him, without hesitation. Carlos holds out the spoon and Kevin tries it. Not meeting Carlos’s gaze. He smiled though.

“It’s really good, Carlos,” he moved to where Cecil was still standing with an eyebrow cocked at Carlos to get his own bowl. Carlos just shrugged at Cecil (he knew exactly what that look meant he just didn’t have an answer) and moved to put a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster. 

There were a whole lot of things he wasn’t thinking about right now, Carlos will probably deal with them later. When he’s alone or when Cecil is asleep. Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger! But you're here! Means you're already in too deep so why don't you leave a comment or kudo? Or come bug me on Tumblr (@no-room-to-create). Brownie Points if you can tell me the correct number of foreshadowing bits in this chapter. Also, the rating on this may change in the near future.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the Cliffhanger (not really). More to come soon hopefully.


End file.
